Pain, guilt and confusion reigned
While dreams of stability kept me sane

Dreams to conquer all that I fear
And dreams of security to those I hold dear

A child's plea, a child's cry
Never wanting her to die

Now that I have faced a hope that is gone
I somehow hope to find the strength to carry on

To never let it effect what I can be
And to prevent pushing away those close to me

I speak to you
because circumstance requires it.

I speak to you through a silencer
to quiet the cacophony of words I fire at you.
No one needs to hear the BLARE of my contempt,
nor the SCREECH of my disgust.

I choose my words carefully,
running my tongue over this one’s sharp edge,
pressing my lips against that one’s heavy bluntness.
I get sick pleasure watching you recoil as the words ricochet through your mind.

I am shell-shocked after we speak.
Nauseous from my desire to gouge at your soul,
disgusted at your inability to detect the reason for my verbal warfare.

Pray that I am not responsible for triage.

Bridget2752

All I want to do is cry.
The tears have eeen building for far too long.
I fear you more than anything else.
As it is in your arms I've suffered the most.

All I want is my dad
The one who use to make me laugh instead of cry
But he disappeared many years ago
Now I fear I may never see him again

All I want is a hug
The kind you use to give me, which removed the pain and made everything ok
But you are no longer capable of this.
Instead you make me run for my life

All I want to be is safe
In a home where people laugh instead of cry
Hug instead of fight
Where everyone is encouraged to reach for the stars and not hide in the dark.

For 23 years now I've tried to be my own but you're still there calling me everyday on the phone, you're asking me for that you're telling me to do this you can't even see why you don't deserve a kiss,

You were never there when I was a kid and when you were you were mean, it's no wonder why everyday all i'de ever done was scream, You made it hard for me to grow and to be strong to find a purpose in this world and to find a place to belong,

Then after all that you wanna come around and say "hey let's not think about that today", life is so easy for you 'coz you obviously don't see, the way you raised me has completely screwed around with me,

So thanks alot mum thanks heaps for your time but without you I know I'll be fine, I don't want your coffee and I don't need your tea.

Please mum won't you just let me be?!