I longed to have you take me in your arms,
to keep me safe,
To cherish my spirit,
Bring peace to my world..
I wish I could remember!

I longed to see reflected in your eyes
The beauty that was mine,
So that I could build a foundation that I owned,
Rather than one borrowed from the misperceptions of others?
I wish I could remember!

I longed to have you invite me in
To show me who you were,
So that I would know who I was,
Honor and celebrate my accomplishments..
I wish I could remember!

I longed to have you share with me,
A bigger picture of my world,
Affirm my potential, encourage my risk taking,
Bring understanding and value to my failures..
I wish I could remember!

I longed to have you protect the boundaries
Of my vulnerabilities,
So that I could trust to be open
To loving and being loved.
But you could not?
Because?
YOU COULD NOT REMEMBER!

Alivia
USA

I know you're so scared little one,
Of all your hear and see,
Of screaming fights when day is done,
Of pain and injury!

No place to run, no one to care,
Thru each terrifying night,
What lies beyond the constant stare,
That leaves you with such fright!

You wish to be another's child,
Of a happy family,
The fantasies of your mind run wild,
You dream of what should be.

I've tried to find you for so long,
To bring you home with me,
To heal the wounds from what went wrong,
In childhood history.

I'll make a place inside my heart,
And love you constantly,
And just before the first tears start,
I'll hold you close to me.

Enfolded in my arms so strong , I'll keep you safe from harm.
No matter what life brings along,
I'll be your lucky charm.

I'll speak of all the beauty,
I see inside your heart,
Your dancing eyes, your curiosity,
The smile that you impart.

And when life's problems get real tough,
And you're not sure what to do,
I'll let you know you have the stuff
Inside to see it through!

I'll tell you just how proud,
I am of all you try to do,
I'll be the first to cheer out loud,
When recognition's due.

I'll tell you each and every day,
Your loved just as you are,
In all you say and all you do,
No matter near or far,

You are a beauty, strong and smart,
Know through eternity,
You carry in your loving heart,
The very best of me!

Alivia
USA

It's that time again, for frantic footsteps, and tight eyes with intensity.

Her sanity flees with stress, the season, and at the sight of a lemon tree.

Where does the spirit go when the mind can no longer take care of it?

I like to imagine it escapes to comfort, care, and love me, just as any good imaginary friend should.

While her body was left behind to scare, confuse and haunt me, just as any good lunatic could.

A secret hidden behind our family doors, sealed within our lips and deep within our hardened hearts.

To cry about it as a child only left me drowning in a puddle of my own tears.

All alone, to blame, and taught to keep in the pain and to hide the knee weakening fear. Because if she caught wind of what we truly believed about her, if we wept, it would surely be that time again. For frantic footsteps.

Jennifer
California, USA

You say go to school
So I go

You say be home by 10
So I am

You Say do this
So I do
You say do that
So I do

You say don't sneak out
So I do

Why Should I do everything you say?
Where's my freedom?

Koali 13 /9/ 97 NNAAMI member Australia